Eric Garland @ericgarland Strategic intelligence analyst. Want to learn more about Trump-Russia? Check out Game Theory Today. t.co/JyZoGhkzgr Apr. 09, 2019 5 min read

CONGRESS ASKING BARR TO RELEASE THE REPORT  https://www.c-span.org/video/?459560-1/attorney-general-barr-testifies-presidents-2020-justice-department-budget-request&live 

Remember, releasing a report to Congressional reps with TS security clearance is NOT the same as an UNCLAS report for us all.

There are *very* good reasons that details from the Mueller's SCO should not be made public to you and I.

But there is no reason Nadler and Schiff cannot read the report.

REP. LOWEY: Thanks for being here Mr. Barr. WHERE IS THE REPORT DUDE?

LOWEY: That you managed to make a conclusion on a 400-page report in under 48 hours is PRETTY DODGY, BRO, EVEN IF YOU READ FAST.

also you kinda seem like trump's bitch

LOWEY: Cutting back on community policing, rape kits, and outreach to kids looks pretty crappy.

(also where is damn report homeboy?)

OK, had a #RealLifeBreak: I heard he's cutting the Investigating Crimes Against Grandmas Initiative.

BARR: I told you. I will release the report when it's released after the letters on the releasing things maybe probably but also.

LOWEY: You said he's off the hook. You know that's horseshit, right?

BARR: I'm not saying anything because redactions and seriously just gimme a week I'm not discussing anything until the report appears that I keeping from you.

LOWEY: Trump thinks he's off the hook. He's a Mobster. So...he's wrong, correct?

BARR: I will release the release of things that redact themselves in a week once the Mueller Report calls me also redact and sure.

LOWEY: I look forward to reading the goddamn report. Thank you for wasting everyone's time.

REP. ROBEY (R-AL): Let's talk human trafficking.

(EG: I'll bet Trump loves this one.)

ROBEY: We've passed laws to stop sex and human trafficking. You need any more resources BECAUSE THAT'S KIND OF A BIG THING. REMEMBER THE 13TH AMENDMENT?

BARR: We're setting up task forces around the country. I guess we could maybe use more resources.

ROBY: Weird that SEX TRAFFICKING BILLS STALLED IN THE SENATE. Need any more money to keep kids from getting raped or kidnapped? BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE NICE TO STOP. What's your plan?

REP. CARTWRIGHT (D-PA): You're trying to destroy Obamacare and millions will get screwed. Any reason for this other than being complete assholes?

CARTWRIGHT: Do you even know shit about healthcare?

BARR: We know law things. This is a law thing.

CARTWRIGHT: You suck.

BARR: Trump loves healthcare. He loves law. We're doing law things and love healthcare.

CARTWRIGHT: Actually, you're enormous assholes.

BARR: But losing Medicaid is fine. And besides, if it's a crappy idea, the courts will take care of it.

PALAZZO (R-MS): Obama made crime go up. How have you been stopping the Obama crime?

BARR: We don't like the Global Mob. Also there's all those things people who are not me are doing to help. So they're great.

PALAZZO: Yay police. Also, what about the MEXICO HUMAN TRAFFICKING because they don't bring anyone in on tourist VISAs through Seattle or Philly.

PALAZZO: Are we immigrationing a lot of people?

BARR: Judge. A wall. Catch and release like fish. More judges.

MENG (D-NY): Anyone in the White House get tipped off about the letter?

BARR: Maybe not.

MENG: Anyone in the WH help write it?

BARR: Mueller Report will testify when redaction redacts itself next week after the redaction that following week maybe.

MENG: What's up with separating families? You know that's horrid, right?

DROOPY DAWG: Trump stopped. I think it's great. We totally won't commit any more atrocities.

GRAVES (R-GA): The report I have read says there is nothing to do with Russia, conspiracies for which people are already in prison. Isn't it true Russia does not exist. OVER AND DONE!

BARR: The letter speaks for its.

GRAVES: SO THERE IS NO RUSSIA! YAY!

GRAVES: They're gonna leak the CIA archives, I heard. On Facebook!

BARR: Uh.

GRAVES: RIGHT, EXACTLY.

BARR: This is just like the Starr Report, except for the treason and the Russians and the global Mob. So redact.

GRAVES: RIGHT, NADLER IS GOING TO PUT CODEWORD INTELLIGENCE ON INSTAGRAM, so we can go now.

BARR: Um, there's 6(e) and I cannot actually follow this I'm not that stupid Jesus Christ.

GRAVES: You rock.

CRIST (D-NOW): So Trump isn't exonerated on obstruction of justice.

BARR: That's in the letter that self-wrote.

CRIST: Right. So he's not actually exonerated and the GOP is full of shit. Moving on!

CRIST: This is starting to piss people off.

BARR: Well, I can't comment until the report I'm holding back comes out when it self-publishes and self-redacts two weeks after last week maybe

CRIST: Why are *you redacting* and not the entire goddamned Intel Community which is how it actually fucking works?

BARR: Well, because I did. And I am. Because the report is self-redacting.

CRIST: Did you ask Mueller before you wrote the letter to know what the fuck you were talking?

BARR: I asked Bob and he said no.

CRIST: Did anyone else work on the letter not like I don't have an idea of the truth.

BARR: Probably not maybe. WAIT NO. I didn't?

CASE (D-HI): Where is the fucking report.

BARR: It said it didn't want to come out. Also 6(e).

CASE: What right do you have under the law to pull this shit?

BARR: The Clintons. 6(e).

CASE: Gonna try the executive privilege bullshit?

BARR: I don't plan to?

CASE: You gonna?

BARR: I am not doing that this second at the moment.

CASE: You know you can ask the Court to get an exception to 6(e)?

BARR: Nadler could?

CASE: No, you can too because you're fucking Attorney General.

BARR: I am extremely over my head what the hell am I doing?

LAWRENCE (D-MI): You don't care about civil rights. Any reason for that in 2019?

BARR: We do great and I don't know any stats about my department. We prosecute many of the Nazis that Trump incites on purpose. I think that's great.

BARR: Trump is the same as Obama for civil rights.

(EG: NO SERIOUSLY HE JUST TRIED THAT GAMBIT HE IS COMPLETELY DROWNING HERE. Well, that's how it works when you work for idiot Mobsters.)

ASSHOLE YOU DO NOT GET POINTS FOR THIS.

YOU DO NOT. *ahem*

LAWRENCE: Obamacare. You understand that the EXECUTIVE BRANCH DOESN'T MAKE LAWS RIGHT?

BARR: Laws. We do laws and things.

I'm out. You get the idea. These people are boxed into a legal corner and have nothing but digging their heels in to protect the Global Mob.

History will spit on them.

</THREAD>


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