Cruiskeen Lawnmower Deth You lie in a graveyard: you're rotting away. I control all your thoughts, you've got nothing to say. He/him. Aug. 11, 2018 7 min read

When the first Atlas Shrugged film came out they asked for fans to say "I am john galt" to add to a dvd extra. The results are some of the best, most strange youtube videos you'll ever see

The tragedy is that I never saved them and most have been deleted from Youtube. I'm looking at the listicle of the weirdest ones I could find that I pitched/sent to the awl but never got published, 70% of the links are dead (the title of this one is 20110414193340(1).wmv)

"impossible to tell if trolling" is a silly trope most of the time but I genuinely have no idea with these. It's a black box.

So many of them take place in what could be like the single setting from a twilight zone episode. They have to prove their worthiness of the sentence in 2 to 5 seconds. The ways some imply achievement is wild.

The more of these you watch, the more you wonder about the people who shot them. If this was a fleeting moment of tolerance or if just one more bizarre whim they indulged.

In two seconds you get total, vivid pictures of how this has to be the single thing these people have spoken about for years. It can be overwhelming.

some of them perfectly summarise this primal mgtow arrogance, to a comical degree of accuracy, years before that would be a mainstream thing people complained about.

It's like someone performed a spell to personify the phrase "banned from town hall meetings for life"

Again, can't help but think of the selflessness of the people holding the cameras, often in bizarre locations, to film someone proudly declaring they don't believe in altruism.

It's like a never-ending vortex of people who are way too into their small businesses

why not actually put that sticker ON something if you're a real one, my man

Never wear the shirt of the band you're going to see imo

I wonder how far this guy drove to get this two second clip. Sending this tweet to the Duplass brothers as a pitch

Some actors always want to improvise. Just say the lines, mate

The is probably the saddest one, imo

Pretty hard mumblecore vibe to a lot of these actually. The title for this one on youtube is "I am John Galt aka  http://D-Mystify.MOV "

There's a tinge of melancholy to almost all of these, really, but this one is just pure "call the police immediately" stuff

Kilts: special occasions only.

I really feel for the poor kid filming this. I really love that this was somehow the take the guy went with. There were a lot of videos, if I remember correctly, with kids being forced to say it but thankfully it looks like almost all of them were deleted.

Pretty sure this guy has never seen a film and only had one described to him maybe once but man he really goes for it.

that sovereign citizen energy

I checked this guy's youtube channel to see what else he got up to and one of the videos is an application to be on the reality show Canada's Smartest Person, filmed vertically.

When the interchange of atoms between sweatband and forehead leave you more hat than man

Even the screamo hand-on-heart-during-the-verses crowd is represented

The barbershop scene has gone to some dark places

So that's who lives in the apartment from Mulholland Drive now

A few people take it literally, which is definitely a curious one. Like this guy appearing beside a train to really underscore that he's read the whole book, I guess?

Ah the badge. Simplier times, really.

Anyway that's it, those are the ones from my list that haven't been deleted. It's sad that this kind of weirdness is a lot harder to find online these days.

I found some more galt videos still online last night so I'm going to add some more to this thread during lunch. Here's an alt take of the first tweet. There were a lot of alt takes of many of the videos, many basically identical.

This is the guy from the second tweet in thread putting way more spice on it this time around. His channel also has several attempts. Weird to think of just using youtube as hosting instead of a Content Platform, it's probably quite common I guess.

More pretty advanced cosplay one.The folder! As well as being loyal to the text, these self-conscious "we used to make things in this country" industry backgrounds really bring home the fantasy of this stuff.

Another captain of industry. Get the feeling this guy is a big wheel down at the big wheel factory.

The tantalising hint of the Don't Tread On Me flag here is amazing, the whole thing is a masterpiece of mise en scene

Big fan of how wide a range of way-too-intense small business owners all the group shots seem to encompass

Not sure which the best bit of this one is: the Why So Serious font (which is actually official branding of the film itself, I think) or the inexplicable 10 seconds of test card at the end (two thirds of the video!)

This one is just flat-out mysterious. "Like something out of twin peaks season 3" feels like yet another trite description but I'd really struggle to summarise both the atmosphere and abundance of seemingly arbitrary signifiers here any other way.

Interested in the sheer amount of Atlas Shrugged merch that seems to be out there. I thought ironic simpsons bootlegs had the stranglehold on etsy but obviously not.

You know I was certain all of this was merch but then I had the slow dawning realisation that there are probably a lot of small irl businesses out there with rand-inspired names.

This is the platonic ideal of these "I am John Galt" videos: a middle-aged white guy called Bob in a conference room, wearing both a monogrammed shirt and a visible contempt for his computer. The bulk of what I found is like this (also man they LOVE doing that glasses thing)

This man has got not one but two novelty licence plates for characters in Atlas Shrugged. The audience for Atlas Shrugged funko pops is one strong and here he is.

This woman chose to growl her "I am john galt" proclamation at what appears to be some kind of open mic while clutching a scales of justice. Even though objectivism is obviously terrible, I feel like this specific energy is worth tapping in to, somehow

Please pay close attention to this man's hoodie. It says "capitalism" in the coke font.

Wait a second, I didn't know John Galt rocked.

I stand corrected. Looks like John Galt definitely shreds.

Picturing the co-pilot holding the camera here thinking "oh god, well I guess I know what the next 8 hours are going to be about"

So many of them did this glasses thing!

I was a lot more excited when the low quality of the video initially tricked me into thinking he was sporting an elaborate hat.

I have watched this numerous times and still cannot definitively tell you if the background is or isn't greenscreened. Proudly displaying three thick volumes of "DOTCOM SECRETS" in 2014 is a wavelength I can appreciate either way.

my favourite multiple take I Am John Galt upload is probably this guy who provided one take in his hoodie that says "liberty or death" and another take in just his t-shirt which simply says "Capitalist"

There are less licence plate guys than I thought there'd be, tbh.

Well this one is cool and normal.

Feel like I should delete the whole thread, possibly my whole account, and replace it with just this video

john galt is in the black lodge with agent cooper

This one may seem perfectly innocuous but if you listen closely you can hear a teenager off screen explaining how to beat someone up which is pretty top-tier world building.

This is my favourite one. The thread's over now, thanks.


You can follow Cruiskeen Lawnmower Deth.

____
Tip: mention @threader_app on a Twitter thread with the keyword “compile” to get a link to it.

Support Threader on Patreon.