Exclusive: initial planning for PM’s Brexit Britain Festival leaked:
-pin the blame on a remainer
-experts in stocks
-raffle with prizes including a months supply of insulin, basic food, or an exit visa
-Morris dancing 1/
-displays celebrating both of the UK’s home nations
-workshops on how to
-cook chlorinated chicken
-access private health care
-buy unregulated medicine on eBay
-spot a foreigner
-prove your English bloodline
-report people speaking foreign languages on busses
-A culinary festival including scapegoat stew, hormone grown beef, and none of that garlic-laden foreign muck.
-innovative jam pagoda
-presentation of results of project to grow tea in Yorkshire.
-unveiling of plans for a bridge to New Zealand
-Music will be “the frog chorus” on infinite repeat
-Festival ambassadors will be available throughout the grounds to assist you, or face benefit sanctions
-anyone complaining will be named as an enemy of the people
-attendance will be compulsory.
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