Natalia Antonova 😼🕵️‍♀️ @NataliaAntonova Clever girl. @bellingcat editor. Bylines: Guardian, WaPo, Vox, etc. Jan. 27, 2019 3 min read

This is so terrible that I don't know where to start with it

Instead of saying, "here are dumb man skills you no longer need cuz we have Uber and coding now lolllll" how about, "both men AND women benefit from knowing how to defend themselves/fix things" 

Aside from Number 7, which is about not holding your feelings in and actually comes off as decent, if not particularly profound advice for men, this is like staring into an abyss of Smug Upper Middle Class Loser Culture.

And I don't even *like* hunting, which is on the list.

Most people don't like being in a situation which can potentially devolve into a physical fight. But there's really nothing wrong with knowing how to throw a punch. Knowing alone makes you more confident.

It's not "toxic masculinity." It's common fucking sense.

As a journalist, as a woman, I've been in some truly dicey situations — and having a man who knew how to fight on my side was always good, believe me.

It's not about being Rambo. Just projecting the confidence that comes with knowing how to fight can magically defuse things.

I have some very basic fighting skills myself. If I hadn't spent years suffering from horrible back pain (the consequences of being in a dicey situation where I was alone), I'd probably have more by this point.

Knowing how to defend yourself doesn't make you a maniac.

Knowing how to repair a goddamn car can mean the difference between life & death. Women know this. It's why we're encouraged to learn to change a tire by the time we're, like, five.

You CAN know how to code AND how to fix a vehicle. Knowledge doesn't cancel itself out!

"But Natalia, who has time to acquire all these skills."

In a culture where one's work/life balance is not so much skewed as nonexistent, it can be hard.

It's why we sometimes rely on each other. It's why I'd NEVER make fun of anyone who knows how to fix something I need.

This is so pathetic that it makes me want to weep

I recently fixed a leaking toilet. By myself. It made me feel great!

If you know how to fix things and you're renting, your landlord will LIKE you

Again, knowing how to decorate & how to fix stuff are not mutually exclusive.

You know what else makes me feel great? When a very severe man with a very serious drill hangs up a shelf for me to display my fairy tale plates on (I own fairy tale plates, do not even @ me).

It's nice when a man can do something for you — whether out of friendship or love.

The idea that men shouldn't be able to fix things is classist at its core, by the way.

It's the, "I can pay people to do that for me, always."

Not all of us are great with fixing stuff — I'm better with abstract ideas, as a rule — but devaluing this talent is douchey.

It's good that men today are slightly more willing to make room for, say, women leaders.

This doesn't mean we should pathologize talented male leaders.

This doesn't mean we should pathologize leadership in general.

It's just weird. And deeply unattractive.

As much as I find alpha bro dawg culture ridiculous (mostly because if you have to call yourself an "alpha" — it just means you're sad) its inverse is no less stupid.

"Let's code and meditate and let Uber drives from poor countries take care of our shit."

Honey. No.

P.S. As much as I personally dislike hunting, my dad is a talented hunter & fisher who's done it since he was a boy.

When the USSR was ending and shit was going down, his skills made a difference, believe me.

People who'd make fun of that are too privileged for their own good

You can follow @NataliaAntonova.


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