Eric Garland @ericgarland Strategic intelligence analyst. Want to learn more about Trump-Russia? Check out Game Theory Today. t.co/JyZoGhkzgr Mar. 28, 2019 3 min read

Oh Dear Beelzebub the GOP is trying to get Adam Schiff to resign because he says Russia exists.  https://www.c-span.org/video/?459258-1/house-intelligence-committee-examines-russian-election-interference-tactics&live 

OK. Wasn't planning for this, but I'm going back to the beginning and live tweeting this treasonous shit show.

<STRAP IN>

SCHIFF (D-Badass): Let's talk Russian money and how they use it to attack Democracy, especially ours. And the difference between counterintelligence and criminal investigation. #HINT

SCHIFF: The Counterintelligence investigations are still going on and they involve foreign powers SO YOU TREASONWEASELS ARE NOT OFF THE HOOK

ALSO THE MEDIA HAS BEEN COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT THE PAST FIVE DAYS

SCHIFF: COUNTERINTEL MIGHT NOT BE IN THE MUELLER REPORT, OR MAYBE IT IS, NONE OF YOU KNOW, SO SHUT YOUR BULLSHITTING CALORIE HOLES.

We have some actual experts. Gonna talk continued attacks, and sanctions.

SCHIFF: We've @McFaul, former ambassador to Russia, Steven Hall, former CIA chief of Russia Ops, 30 year career, Heather Conley, author of The Kremlin Playbook, Eric Lorber, Foundation for the Defense of Democracies.

ACTUAL EXPERTS. THEY EXIST.

NUNES (R-LAJES): WE WARNED OBAMA ABOUT RUSSIA. HE MISSPELLED THINGS (seriously). HE MADE FUN OF MITT ROMNEY. THEY WERE HELPLESS. AAAARGGHHH.

HPSCI SHOULDN'T PUT OUT CONSPIRACY THEORIES! WHERE IS MY UBER!

CONWAY (R-St. Petersburg): You keep talking about Russia in the leaks of the media and say collusion a lot! We know all about Russia and told you there is no Russia colluding with Russia.

(Every Republican is having trouble pronouncing sentences. They seem nervous.)

CONWAY: MUELLER SAID THERE WAS NO RUSSIA. AND WE TOLD YOU! YOU KEEP TALKING TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE LIKE YOU WERE ELECTED OR SOMETHING!

You're a lying liar head! And you should RESIGN! All 9 of us agree! Also, you smell like fart!

SCHIFF: So. Apparently you're OK with the Trumps hanging out with Russian spies.

May I remind you that Don Junior said he LOVED it. Manafort went. Idiot McSonInLaw went. And apparently you're OK with them lying on it. PS WE HAVE SIGINT, ASSHOLES.

Also, you are dicks.

SCHIFF: Apparently you're OK with giving GOP polling data to a GRU agent, but you are treasonweasel dicks.

OH, and apparently asking the Russian ambassador for secure SVR comms to backchannel Putin is cool to you, but seriously, fuck you guys.

SCHIFF: And apparently you're big Misha Flynn fans.

YEAH WELL FUCK THE FUCK OFF, ALL OF YOU.

SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU FUCKING KREMLIN COCKSMOKERS.

(EG note: holy shit. this is amazing.)

TURNER (R-KRASNOYARSK): I wanna yell at you!

SCHIFF: Fuck off. Let McFaul speak.

MCFAUL: Can we talk Putin? That guy is seriously dangerous. He and his guys have really ugly plans against us using hybrid warfare including money and influence Ops.

MCFAUL: Putin started wrecking democracy in 2000, right away. HE STARTED WITH THE MEDIA. Now HE'S EXPORTING HIS MEDIA TECHNIQUES TO OTHER COUNTRIES.

Now Russian intelligence runs Russia more than the KGB even did!

Oligarchs are keys to his techniques for controlling Russia.

MCFAUL: Putin's policies have led to economic damage, so he needs an external enemy to keep people believing in him. WE IN THE WEST ARE THAT ENEMY.

MCFAUL: To expand his influence, Putin plays BOTH LEFT AND RIGHT. Not just in Russia, BUT INSIDE OF OTHER STATES, LIKE OURS.

RT, Sputnik, social media, YouTube.

MCFAUL: GO READ THE INTERNET RESEARCH AGENCY INDICTMENT BY MUELLER.

It's outrageous.

And Russians are all over individuals, media, churches.

[EG note: McFaul's Twitter has been very measured and, well, diplomatic. But homeboy is spittin' hot fire.]

HALL: I rose to SES-level at CIA focusing mostly on Russia.

Putin: He's a Chekist. They're murdering brutal scumbags. They love mass murder.


You can follow @ericgarland.



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