One of worst things about being trans is having to constantly step on eggshells around cis people, and be cognisant of what might set them off. Yet we're the ones who are oversensitive or easily offended? God knows how much we have to weather with a smile and bite our tongues on.
And I know that me even just saying this is gonna raise some cis hackles, but dear god, the way some cis folks act? Even "allies"? It's like they expect us all to be perfect advocates, and are ready to flip the table at a moment's notice if we're not.
It's not all cis people of course, but enough. More than enough for us to feel an uneasy peace, that support of trans people from cis people is fragile, conditional. Enough that we fear a heel-turn on support that we've been conditioned to expect it happens so often.
As a trans person, you don't just have the stress of being expected to walk on eggshells around cis feelings, you worry that other trans people aren't stepping on those same eggshells in just the right way, because we *ALL* get blamed if even one of us trips up just once.
It's a hell of a burden for any one person to shoulder alone, but to foist that upon a group as a whole? That we as trans people aren't just responsible for perceptions of ourselves as individuals, but we must be perfect representatives of the trans community at all times? 😬
And I worry about the effect that has on us, that we aren't just hypersensitive around cis feelings, but even unconsciously police each other in the trans community, so as we're all on best behaviour for cis expectations.
There you go, new word.
The title of this thread is now "Great Cispectations"
Honestly, we get so much hate, so much violence aimed at our community, constantly mocked and belittled, and sometimes it just makes you wanna shout "F*CKING CIS PEOPLE!" but you don't... Most of the time you just choke it down and carry on and maybe scream in the bathtub.
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