BARR: MUELLER'S REPORT IS MY BABY I AM ITS DADDY CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT WITH IT
DON'T CALL CPS, EITHER
WHITEHOUSE: Does the Judiciary do judicial things? About law?
BARR: Naaaah? Probably not? What's a law? IT'S MY BABY
WHITEHOUSE: So, can't the President just go to court over this?
BARR: I AM THE BOSS! NO COLLUSION! NO CONTUSION! WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
WHITEHOUSE: So, what's this bullshit about "spying" on our own country? You ever use the term before on investigations in the US?
BARR: Spying is good! I say spying all the time. I spy all day! I was in the CIA. We spied. But I said spying by accident. Spying is spying.
BARR: THE DOJ IS NOW AN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY!
(Sorry gang, had real world stuff and couldn't live tweet Great Uncle ObstructionPants the way I wanted.)
Also, point of order: William Barr will heretofore be officially referred to as Great Uncle ObstructionPants.
Who works for Grampy Mob McTouchyPants, and not the Constitution.
You can follow @ericgarland.