Eric Garland+ Your Authors @ericgarland Intelligence analyst and advisor to CEOs and governments. I break down global events into clear narratives and appropriate profanity. May. 08, 2019 1 min read + Your Authors

I am exercising my executive privilege over the Trump Claim of Executive Privilege Over Everything of Yesterday. Immediately.

According to the 178th Amendment of I Think It's the Constitution, legal procedure may be altered in real time by anyone, including Mobsters.

Thus I hereby invoke my Game Theory Guy Ultraprivilege (affirmed by DC appellate court nine minutes ago) to allow the Mueller Report's release.

I also invoke the Magna Carta's Writ of Habeus Whatever the GOP Decides today to demand the FULL disclosure of anything I want, and nothing I don't.

I hereby authorize, having pulled a sword out of a stone in the basement of Trump Tower Uzbekistand, the release of all Atlantic City account files, which all show Trump to be a bazillionaire.

In the event that Trump is shown to be a Mob money launderer and not a bazillionaire, I hereby authorize Bob Mueller to pull swords out of Trump Tower's basement, and issue Writs of Mobster Traitors Get F**ked, as affirmed by the appellate court of the Lady of the Hudson. 😇

PS These tweets are now retroactively Kushner Top Secret and subject to Executive Privilege Prosecution, and if you read them, you're Chelsea Manning's roommate.

You can follow @ericgarland.


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