Walter Shaub @waltshaub former Director of @OfficeGovEthics now with @CREWcrew personal account - views are my own Jul. 04, 2019 1 min read

He just mentioned Space Force.

Hard to see him through that rain-streaked glass. He looks like he's speaking from the inside of a washing machine. But at least he's stiffly reading a speech and not riffing. So far.

Is he slurring?

He says we're going to the Moon and then to Mars. Apparently, Moon is not part of Mars tonight. Glad we got that cleared up.

He says Americans always take care of each other. Other humans, not so much. Unless they're from Norway maybe.

I have to give him credit, though. So far, he's sticking to this dry as melba toast speech and resisting the temptation to riff. We must have scared him straight. He doesn't want his campaign to have to repay the government the millions he'd owe if he got political.

Well, he closed his speech by having the band sing "I'm glad to be an American where at least I know I'm free" without any recognition of the irony while kids and families are sitting in cages.

And the whole event boosted the profits of his hotel. Because, you know, corruption. Making corruption great again. At least we scared him straight in his speech, but he still gave the VIP tickets to campaign donors and raised the prices at his hotel. 

You can follow @waltshaub.


Tip: mention @threader_app on a Twitter thread with the keyword “compile” to get a link to it.

Enjoy Threader? Sign up.

Threader is an independent project created by only two developers. The site gets 500,000+ visits a month and our iOS Twitter client was featured as an App of the Day by Apple. Running this space is expensive and time consuming. If you find Threader useful, please consider supporting us to make it a sustainable project.