michaelharriot+ Your Authors @michaelharriot Sr. Writer at theroot.com/, board-certified Wypipologist, master race-baiter. His pen is mightier than your sword. Last real Negus alive Aug. 07, 2019 1 min read + Your Authors

Thread: Black Sandwiches, Ranked.

10. Government Grilled Cheese: anyone can make a grilled cheese but only black girl magic can get welfare cheese to melt.

9. Ghetto dog: Yes, a hot dog is a sandwich if it is boiled and served on a folded piece of white bread

8. Ham sandwiches: Must be eaten out of a bag at a different location than where it was made unless, of course, it is part of a lunch at Vacation Bible School

7. Chicken Sandwich: Not that Chik-fil-A bullshit. I’m talking about a fried chicken thigh on greasy bread with hot sauce and or hot sauce.

6. ‘mater sammich: Real niggas know.

5. Next Day sandwich: Made the day following Thanksgiving, cookouts or funerals. Simply pile all the leftovers on two pieces of bread.

4. Fried bologna sandwich: if you don’t:

A. slit your baloney and make it look like Pac-Man
B. Burn the edges
C. Use that balogna with red plastic that you gotta peel off...

I can’t fuck with you

3. Fish sandwich: Fried, straight out the grease. Again, bread must be greasy in the middle.

2. A Cookout Sandwich: The contents is determined by the uncle who works the grill. Simply get a paper plate, 2 pieces of “lite bread” and stand beside the grill.

Whatever comes off, you eat.

1. Peanut Butter & Jelly: The greatest sandwich of all time. It tastes like freedom, Christmas morning and the Holy Ghost. Its why Satan quit the choir and why Jesus wept.

I imagine white privilege feels like an after-sex PB&J with a correctly sweetened glass of grape Kool Aid

You can follow @michaelharriot.


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