A.R. Moxon (Julius Goat) @JuliusGoat Novelist—THE REVISIONARIES coming 12/3/19 tinyurl.com/yxkldcx7 Newsletter: tinyletter.com/ARMoxon Blog: armoxon.com/ He/him Repped by @samroebuck Aug. 26, 2019 2 min read

You: Pardon me
Me: What
You: You’re standing on my foot
Me: I don’t think so
You: You are
Me: I don’t have a standing on feet bone in my body
You: If you just look—
Me: So now I can’t even stand
You: No it’s just that—
Me: You have to be SO CAREFUL these days where you stand—GOD

You: If you could just move
Me: I don’t think I’m standing on you
You: But you are. On my foot.
Me: I didn’t mean to
You: Yes but you are
Me: Well I always stand here
You: You’ve been on my foot every time
Me: Well then why didn’t you ever say anything before?
You: Can’t imagine

You: My foot really hurts
Me: I don’t think so; I don’t feel it
You: Yes, it’s MY foot. *I* feel it
Me: That scolding tone makes me want to step on your foot
You: Ow
Me: That’s what you get

You: Honestly, I need to move
Me: Then move! *I* move wherever I want without help
You: Again, you are standing. On. My. Foot.
Me: So sick of people making everything about feet.
You: I ...
Me: *I* have feet too, you know
You: Your foot is ON mine!
Me: That's so divisive

You: So anyway—
Me: It is really divisive for you to say I'm someone who stands on feet
You: You are. Right now. You can see it. Look down.
Me: I don't look down
You: What do you mean, you don't look d—
Me: I was taught all feet are the same
You: WHAT?
Me: I don't even SEE feet

You: That's better
Me: What?
You: You moved.
Me: Did I?
You: Yes.
Me: You were trapped and I freed you!
You: I wouldn't quite put it that w—
Me: I'm the hero!
You: That is NOT what happ—
Me: A 'thank you' would be nice
You: You're still on my laces
Me: It's always something w/you

Me: I think we both learned something
You: DID we?
Me: Great dialogue
You: OK?
Me: Exchange of ideas
You: Man, whatever
Me: You know? I don't think *I* taught YOU so much as...
You: Don't finish that—
Me: YOU taught ME
You: —sentence
Me: ANYhoo I'm voting the foot-stepping party

You can see this bio coming a mile away.


You can follow @JuliusGoat.



Bookmark

____
Tip: mention @threader_app on a Twitter thread with the keyword “compile” to get a link to it.

Enjoy Threader? Sign up.

Threader is an independent project created by only two developers. The site gets 500,000+ visits a month and our iOS Twitter client was featured as an App of the Day by Apple. Running this space is expensive and time consuming. If you find Threader useful, please consider supporting us to make it a sustainable project.