The Onion @TheOnion America's Finest News Source. Sep. 11, 2019 1 min read

From The Archives: 

From The Archives: American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie 

From The Archives: Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell 

From The Archives: U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We're At War With 

From The Archives: Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake 

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