The Onion @TheOnion America's Finest News Source. Sep. 11, 2019 1 min read

From The Archives:  https://trib.al/BRaUdPd 

From The Archives: American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie  https://trib.al/xOVVKyJ 

From The Archives: Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell  https://trib.al/RU7S0fh 

From The Archives: U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We're At War With  https://trib.al/b2PT8z3 

From The Archives: Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake  https://trib.al/Ms9URf7 


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