The lamentable fate of Mike Stuchbery 🎃🍷 @MikeStuchbery_ (Freelance) Journalist, Historian, Teacher & Tour Guide ★ 🇦🇺 in 🇩🇪 ★ Contributing Editor at @BylineTimes ★ History at @TheLocalEurope ★ Resolutely ↙️↙️↙️ Sep. 13, 2019 1 min read

SHIT THAT ISN'T SO OBVIOUS THAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO WHEN I MIGRATE TO GERMANY: A Top Ten

10/ The entirely marvellous experience of riding a @DB_Presse InterCity Express across rolling, wooded hills and past chocolate box towns without paying a @#£&ing fortune.

Also, the 'Zenk Yoo For Travellink Wiz Deutsche Bahn' announcements.

9/ Bakeries where one can buy a salad roll, or savoury breaded snack for loose change, without it looking like the forgotten remains of some kind of invertebrate anemone.

8/ Doing the 'BONG! Hier ist das Erste Deutsche Fernsehen mit der Tagesschau!' every night with @Tagesschau.

Also, the occasional joyful wackiness of an otherwise serious news program.

7/ Finding one's self in a village an hour away from the nearest city, thanks to a train slip-up, listening to some crazy old dude in a keller talk about outrageously spooky folklore.

This happens to me all the time there.

6/ This is a local one, but being able to use the Stuttgart TV tower to navigate home from a significant portion of the city.

Helpful after a beer or three.

5/ The heady bouquet of doner kebab, petrol and cigarette smoke that greets the reveller stumbling home of an evening through any major city in Germany - and most towns.

4/ Footpaths. Footpaths everywhere. Well-tended, well-used footpaths. The kind that make it easy to walk from one village to another safely and get some exercise.

It's not the same here.

3/ Proper mountains. I miss them. I'm not talking about overgrown hills, but big, intimidating, scary, craggy behemoths towering above me.

I guess I have a kink about being dominated by landscape.

2/ Christmas Markets. Germans take them deadly seriously - nearly every town and city has them, and not only they do Christmas stuff, but great homemade food and wares too.

Once you find your favourite, you're loathe to tell anyone!

1/Random-ass public holidays, religious festivals and traditions, like how kids parade around with lanterns on Martinmas and it's a BIG DEAL.

Tradition means something - and all comers can get involved.


You can follow @MikeStuchbery_.



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