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Russ Jones
+ Your AuthorsArchive @RussInCheshire Designer, coder, painter, analyst, writer, wazzock. #TheWeekInTory is about to become #TheDecadeInTory, and you'll absolutely hate it. Dec. 12, 2019 4 min read

Exit poll

386 Tory
191 Labour

Tory majority of 81

So fuck it, I'm gonna risk this rant... it's been brewing for a while...

Fuck off, Jeremy Corbyn, you hopeless old tatterdemalion, and take your useless fucking coterie with you.

You've wasted years, lost everything you've tried, and are the single biggest cause of the Tory win.

Should've gone 3 years ago. Go now.

People will say "I bet you want Blair". No. Blair might be the opposite of Corbyn, but he's not the only alternative to him. The mistake Labour made is thinking a bad person being good at politics means everybody good at politics is bad.

People will say "the media is biased". Yes. But that's the environment Labour leaders always operate in. Complaining about it is like trawler captains complaining the sea is wet. Yep. Learn to thrive in those conditions, or get off the boat.

People will say "they treated him worse than any previous leader". They did. Cos he was shit at working the press, had a history of opinions that could be easily made to look awful, was inept on antisemitism, shifty on Brexit and cantankerous on TV.

People will say "no way is he racist". Perhaps. But if people accused me of antisemitism, I'd be able to clearly defend myself, demonstrate my credentials, and put in place a strategy to stop accusations. He couldn't. If he's not antisemitic, he's inept.

People will say "voters love him in person". I'm sure. But we've been in the age of broadcasting for 80 years. What the hell use is being warm and cuddly to 600 people in a field, when you come over badly to 60 million people on TV?

People will say "he grew the party". He did. But he lost elections.

People will say "members love him". They do. But members aren't all voters.

People will say "his manifesto is great". Maybe. But the more radical your are, the better salesman you need to be. And he's crap.

People will say "who would have done better?" Literally every other Leader of the Opposition EVER. Specifically Jess Phillips, Kier Starmer, David Lammy, Angela Rayner, Laura Piddock, Yvette Cooper, or Tom Watson before you drove him and a dozen more out.

People will say "you're a centrist, just join LibDems". Yes I am, vaguely, and no I won't. I'd happily vote for Corbyn's agenda if it was led by someone competent and appealing.

People will say "Brexit broke traditional parties". True. But Leave all voted Tory. Why didn't Remain all vote Labour? Cos our leader is divisive, inept, shambolic, uninspiring, and too easy to besmirch as an antisemite, terrorist sympathiser, and Leave voter.

People will say "his Brexit plan made sense". Maybe. But he had to be dragged to it over the course of 3 years, resisting every step, giving mixed messages and looking woozy and lost; by the time he had a plan, nobody trusted him.

People will say "Tories told thousands of lies". Yep. If only somebody had seen this happen before and put together a Rapid Response Unit to kill lies in seconds. Oh yeah, Blair did that and won. Corbyn didn't and lost. Just cos Blair did it, doesn't make it bad.

People will say "the PLP mutinied against him". They did. They aren't idiots. They could see within weeks Corbyn was a disaster, cos they'd met him. 172 wanted him to go. 40 wanted him to stay. Pretty much the ratio of voters who wanted him to stay / go. MPs were right.

People will say "we had to let him try". We did let him try. For years. He lost the referendum in 2016. He lost the election in 2017. He lost the EU elections in 2019. He's lost again. The only thing he's won was "most unpopular Leader of Opposition in history".

People will say "the soft left didn't help him". We did. We proposed him as leader. We elected him leader. We voted for him in elections, even though we knew he was shite. What didn't help him was the hard left telling us to go and join LibDems every day.

People will say "he was democratically elected". Yes. But members are fanatical, by definition. They don't think like average voters. Letting a fan club manage a band is a stupid idea. They'll book Wembley for 4 nights for Steve Brookstein, cos they don't realise he's shit.

And I'm sure people will say rude things to me. They'll pick apart every word and quibble every sentiment. They'll demand I "prove it", or send me links showing how wrong I am.

Sick of that shit. We lost, millions will suffer, and you're still defending the primary cause.

Jeremy Corbyn has been, from the moment he was elected leader, the Tory party's wet dream. Unless you drink a LOT of Kool Aid, you could predict this fiasco years ago. 

If he couldn't see it coming, he's a moron. If he could, he's a selfish prick for not quitting.

Time to go now. Hand over to whatever MPs are left after this car-crash, get to your allotment, and let some bloody professionals try to save what they can from the Tory disaster you've bequeathed upon an undeserving nation.

You can follow @RussInCheshire.


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