Blair Braverman
+ Your AuthorsArchive @BlairBraverman Dogsledder. Author. Adventurer. If you like these tweets, you'll love WELCOME TO THE GODDAMN ICE CUBE (@eccobooks). Sep. 17, 2020 1 min read

Jules and Dora have been hanging out a lot lately.

Here’s the thing about both of them: they’re very chaotic dogs. They live in fast-forward. Which makes them perfect playmates, because the other dogs can find them annoying.

They’re also both very affectionate. But they don’t always get to cuddle like they want, because, like I said—chaos.

If kisses and cuddles are their love language, how will they know that I love them?

Well, about once a month I give them a present.

The present is my face.

Yup, that’s right. They get to do whatever they want to my face, and I don’t pull away.

I love you, Dora!

The trick is to cover your face with one hand if you don’t want a tongue in your mouth. Which I do not. That is my boundary.

Jules takes a thorough approach.

He goes for face...

...and both ears.

But yesterday we upped the stakes.

Dora and Jules were hanging out together anyway, and I figured, what the heck? What’s the worst that can happen if I just hold my breath and let them both lick my face at once?


[audio: incredibly rapid slobbering]

I can’t say I recommend the experience, or that I plan to repeat it anytime soon.

But I’m glad the dogs know that they’re worth it.

The end.

You can follow @BlairBraverman.


Tip: mention @threader_app on a Twitter thread with the keyword “compile” to get a link to it.

Enjoy Threader? Sign up.

Since you’re here...

... we’re asking visitors like you to make a contribution to support this independent project. In these uncertain times, access to information is vital. Threader gets 1,000,000+ visits a month and our iOS Twitter client was featured as an App of the Day by Apple. Your financial support will help two developers to keep working on this app. Everyone’s contribution, big or small, is so valuable. Support Threader by becoming premium or by donating on PayPal. Thank you.

Follow Threader